The other day I called Duncan in order to obtain permission to make fun of him on my blog. Duncan, being the awesome guy he is, gave me permission to mock him in any way I desired, without stipulation. But, out of curiosity, he did want to know precisely how I was mocking him.
When I told him I was talking about our Barbarian vs. Destroyer debate, the debate began again. Fittingly enough, without even having read the post, Duncan attempted to argue that Giant Genghis Wilt Chamberlain Khan is equal to James Earl Jones turning into a snake. It was really kind of sad, actually.
Since I felt bad for Duncan, I decided to give him a leg up in the debate. I informed him that the guy inside the big rubber monster suit at the end of the movie is Andre the Giant. Duncan responded by saying this proved his case for Destroyer supremacy. I argued that the presence of Andre the Giant at the end of the movie could not make up for the presence of Grace Jones throughout the entire film.
There is, I suppose, a theological application here in showing our need for Christ's atoning sacrifice. If Andre the Giant represents good works and Grace Jones represents sin, this shows that no matter how many good works we present to God, they cannot compensate for or outweigh our sins. No matter how many "pure" and "selfless" acts we perform out of "love," they can never erase the (far more numerous) defiled and prideful acts we perform out of self-worship. Those sins can only be erased in the blood of Jesus Christ. "You were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot," (1 Peter 1:18-19).
So it doesn't matter how many Andre the Giants you put in Conan the Destroyer. It is not until Grace Jones is entirely removed from the film that one can make a real argument that Destroyer deserves to be mentioned in the same breath as Barbarian.
So it doesn't matter how many Andre the Giants you put in Conan the Destroyer. It is not until Grace Jones is entirely removed from the film that one can make a real argument that Destroyer deserves to be mentioned in the same breath as Barbarian.
That's not a stretch, right?
My name is Pastor Hans Fiene. Thanks for reading.
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